post new years resolutions
i will never ever drink that much again.
the promised renovations to the lodge are coming. i had talks with a writer this past weekend and he encouraged me to work on what i do, rather than churning things out because i feel better putting words on paper. i suddenly begin to see how writing could be considered a "job" (no offense, JJ, quill)..i like my stream of conciousness stuff, but i'm likely the only one who understands it. so we'll see.
i had a conversation with a boy this evening, which ended with me calling him 'babe', and him calling me 'honey'. and he's not my roommate. i'm going to try very hard to keep this under my control, rather than letting the past specter of M ruin it for me before it ever gets to start.
i will clean out the fridge.
the tree will come down before march.
i will write more letters.
i'll lose the other 30 pounds.
i'll seriously seriously think about considering quitting smoking.
and the difficult one, the real one, i will practice or whatever it is one must do to become patient. i will work on becoming on more patient person. i am uptight, i am tense, i am high-strung, and i do not want to die too terribly young. i get upset too quickly, and i let my emotions often take over. i have to apply this patience not only to every other intolerable motherfucker in the world, but to my own intolerable self.
change is seldom dramatic, when it's to be a lasting change. these things, perhaps i can make them happen, but it'll take time and determination and willpower: all things i posess but often lose sight of. i wish patience for myself, and hope not to be too hard on me when i can't pull it off. one day at a time, to one week at a time, to another year.
happy new one.
the promised renovations to the lodge are coming. i had talks with a writer this past weekend and he encouraged me to work on what i do, rather than churning things out because i feel better putting words on paper. i suddenly begin to see how writing could be considered a "job" (no offense, JJ, quill)..i like my stream of conciousness stuff, but i'm likely the only one who understands it. so we'll see.
i had a conversation with a boy this evening, which ended with me calling him 'babe', and him calling me 'honey'. and he's not my roommate. i'm going to try very hard to keep this under my control, rather than letting the past specter of M ruin it for me before it ever gets to start.
i will clean out the fridge.
the tree will come down before march.
i will write more letters.
i'll lose the other 30 pounds.
i'll seriously seriously think about considering quitting smoking.
and the difficult one, the real one, i will practice or whatever it is one must do to become patient. i will work on becoming on more patient person. i am uptight, i am tense, i am high-strung, and i do not want to die too terribly young. i get upset too quickly, and i let my emotions often take over. i have to apply this patience not only to every other intolerable motherfucker in the world, but to my own intolerable self.
change is seldom dramatic, when it's to be a lasting change. these things, perhaps i can make them happen, but it'll take time and determination and willpower: all things i posess but often lose sight of. i wish patience for myself, and hope not to be too hard on me when i can't pull it off. one day at a time, to one week at a time, to another year.
happy new one.
posted by ginonymous at
10:58 PM
5 Comments:
i hope to hear more about the boy, and your drinking less means less drunking IM's which saddens me.
let me revise, i will never drink that much *in a single sitting* ever again.
better?
Yes. Don't drink in a single sitting. Drink standing up. That way, when you fall down you have the information necessary to stop. Or, you have the inability to carry on. Both are fine.
I can't wait to see the Lodge renovations, and best of luck with the rest of your "determinations." Including the tree.
Anonymous can do it!
Anonymous is strong!
Go, Anonymous, Go!
(I'm writing children's lit!)
YAY! But trust me, don't try to lose weight and quit smoking at once. It's a no-win. Been there, done that, now have a bigger tee-shirt for my effort.
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