I Had No Idea

Wow, we are everywhere, no? I thought for a long time that I was the only one with issues, or whatever you'd like to call them in these days of creeping-PC-ness. I want to say thank you to all of you who've read thus far and are willing for whatever reason to take this odd little walk with me.

I do want to ask a question in general: Why is it easier now to discuss mental illness than in years past? Are we just now realizing the depth of the problem, or able to recognize the symptoms for what they are? When I first approached an actual MD about the drug BuSpar (this was back in 97, I believe), I was blown off utterly. He didn't ask why I was interested in this drug, nor did he inquire where I'd heard about it (this is back when Preparation H was the most widely advertised drug on TV). In fact, everytime I talked with someone in the health field about my mental health, I recieved no input, save the occasional, "Hmph." I had to get to a crisis level in order to be taken seriously...I find that it fits well with today's health industry, where you don't get help staying healthy, you only recieve care when you're sick. It's bizarre.

Speaking of doctors, I'm going to get a little something off my chest at this point..when you're a professional, you are to leave your personal prejudices at home and focus on the job at work, right? When I go to work, I give up privacy and dignity in some cases in order to get the job done and keep the customers satisfied as best I can. I give out information that helps to solve problems. I had one doctor tell me, after reviewing my history on paper, that I'd have eventually ended up crazy or an alcoholic, and that I should be grateful that I at least knew which one I was. I had a (former) boyfriend tell me that had my faith in Jesus been stronger, I wouldn't have this disease. And now Tom Cruise is an expert on psychology. Who are these people? When exactly, did Mr. Cruise suffer post-partum depression? Where in the Bible does it say, "Thou shalt not be all wacky in the head"? And a doctor! Making a joke out of something a doctor ignored until it required another effing doctor? And people wonder why we keep to ourselves, why we don't ask for help earlier.

So I keep it to myself. A caring physician will tell you that it's not unlike being a diabetic, you wouldn't expect a diabetic to stay home and think happy thoughts until they felt better. You don't tell someone with high blood pressure to cheer up. There's supposed to be no stigma attached to being sick. You should be able to seek fair and decent treatment. Nonetheless, people don't joke about a diabetic having a bad day and then bringing a gun to work. You don't hear people calling high-maintenance women bitches (they're like, totally bipolar! Ohmigod!). Anyway, I don't know where I'm going with this particular diatribe. More later.