Saturday, July 16, 2005

Harry Potter tried to kill me

i work for a shipping company, and while i can't specify which one, i can tell you that we're world-renown for the color of our uniforms. the harry potter books shipped this week, and were not to be recieved by anyone (save retailers) until today. we worked a deal with post offices here in the States, where we would take the packages and drop them at each consignee's local PO and the PO would deliver today. not a problem. but the quality department, as per usual, found a way to make this task more difficult.

a little backstory: i suffer from intolerable insomnia. i've been to specialists, tried herbs and hormones, and nothing really works. so i deal with it. occasionally, sometimes as often as three times a week, i'm up all night. this happened thursday. i was to work a double on friday. and friday was HP day.

so i get tied to dispatch for a long long day, and have to track *each* and everyone of those damnable books all day long and make sure they don't leave authorized hands. at the end of the day, i was dreaming not of sex or wealth or fame, but a couch. a bed. anything horizontal. anything i could lay on and pass out. my roommate brings home a carload of drunk women, the phone won't stop ringing, and i want to cry.

i got my sleep today, and went on a bit of a donut bender. but i still hurt. damn you Harry Potter!

7 Comments:

Blogger Ubermilf said...

I bought a Harry Potter book. Am I guilty of contributing to your fatigue and pain? Let me pay for the doughnuts. No, I insist.

10:22 PM  
Blogger ginonymous said...

the upshot of working there is all the um, hot guys. yeah, i'm a weenie.

10:42 PM  
Blogger Ubermilf said...

You mean like that guy in "King of Queens?"

9:31 AM  
Blogger Spirit Of Owl said...

I think the Harry Potter books could be truly great if only JK Rowling could actually write.

She is monumentally talented in the big story picture, no doubt about it. To be fair, I'm not by any means a signed up Harry Potter fan, but I totally love it with the kids because I can totally see the charm.

But why can't she get someone in to help with the fact that she's an inept writer? Imagine if Martin Amis... or Clive Barker, or Thomas Harris wrote these stories!

Never mind. But why this inept, flat, often grammatically questionable prose? Why this dim "said speak"? Why this crass, cliché ridden imagery? She's supposed to have degrees in English. Why is her language usage so crap?

Ok, look, I know these stories are for children, but to be honest that's one of my problems. Give my kids some quality! Stop selling them Eminem and Harry Potter as though oh, well, hey, you know, anything is good as long as they're listening and reading, isn't it? !!! Screw that!!! Make better stuff! Work harder for you jabazillions of currency in your heaving and sweating offshore bank accounts!

Ok I'll shut up now, and take my grumpy old butt to bed. Or not, but at least I'll shut up about this. For a while.

7:24 PM  
Blogger ginonymous said...

Owl: there is this, Alternate Potter Project

let's see if i figured this HTML thing out just yet.

the APP is where writers have attempted to tell part of the Potter story in the language of another writer. the Palahniuk one cracked me up. i'm sure Sappho will be a hoot as well.

11:22 AM  
Blogger Spirit Of Owl said...

Oh, thankyou. That is breathtakingly fantastic. I may not blog for a while until I have absorbed everything there.

6:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I take it you aren't reading the latest installment then? sort of like the pizza delivery guy who only eats fish from now on...

6:17 PM  

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