a story in pictures
so i got up at o-dark-thirty to take a shower. this is my shower.
it's a lot of things, really: a santuary, a place to get refreshed and ready, to clear my head. sometimes a place of song and dance, and perchance, a place to spend too long moisturizing myself (ATTENTION PERVERTS: this is not that kind of blog. but take it as you will.)
one thing it is strictly not is a nature preserve.
when i pulled back the curtain this morning to start the water, i really thought i felt something brush my
arm that shouldn't have been there. i put on the glasses, all the better to survey my surroundings, and discovered a large hairy spider dangling from the curtain, trying to reel him/her/itself up from the water (to avoid death, i presume). as much as i am fond of the nature, i am not a fan of critters in my shower.
being a creature of higher capability, moreover, the owner of not one but *two* opposable thumbs, you'd think i'd reason this out. i tried aiming the showerhead at the Intruder, to no avail. i tried wishing really hard that it would just go away. i even considered waking Roomie A to dispatch it for me. in the end, i resorted to this:
maybe i overreacted a tad, but in the end, the Intruder was vanquished, and to the victor went the spoils (read: hot steamy shower). i bet that last sentence ups my random hits for people googling shit besides Stull.
and seeing as i've wasted this much of your bandwidth and life already, the following is this week's installment of halfnekkidthursday.
this is me, pissing off Puss Puss LaRue.
and this is the natural consequence of pissing off a psychotic cat.
it's a lot of things, really: a santuary, a place to get refreshed and ready, to clear my head. sometimes a place of song and dance, and perchance, a place to spend too long moisturizing myself (ATTENTION PERVERTS: this is not that kind of blog. but take it as you will.)
one thing it is strictly not is a nature preserve.
when i pulled back the curtain this morning to start the water, i really thought i felt something brush my
arm that shouldn't have been there. i put on the glasses, all the better to survey my surroundings, and discovered a large hairy spider dangling from the curtain, trying to reel him/her/itself up from the water (to avoid death, i presume). as much as i am fond of the nature, i am not a fan of critters in my shower.being a creature of higher capability, moreover, the owner of not one but *two* opposable thumbs, you'd think i'd reason this out. i tried aiming the showerhead at the Intruder, to no avail. i tried wishing really hard that it would just go away. i even considered waking Roomie A to dispatch it for me. in the end, i resorted to this:
maybe i overreacted a tad, but in the end, the Intruder was vanquished, and to the victor went the spoils (read: hot steamy shower). i bet that last sentence ups my random hits for people googling shit besides Stull.
and seeing as i've wasted this much of your bandwidth and life already, the following is this week's installment of halfnekkidthursday.
this is me, pissing off Puss Puss LaRue.
and this is the natural consequence of pissing off a psychotic cat.
posted by ginonymous at
12:46 PM
16 Comments:
That is a SERIOUS showerhead. If you get some pounding water pressure from that thing,then I'm totally jealous!
And I hate running into spiders. ick!
What's a "santuary"?
Biggest tease? Didn't you read the disclamer?
(ATTENTION PERVERTS: this is not that kind of blog. but take it as you will.)
did you scream like a five year old who dropped her ice cream in the dirt?...cause I would have
I just recieved a letter from my bank, the bank I've been with for almost 5 years, asking me to switch to them from my current bank. Personally I wouldn't switch to them for anything, they are a bunch of thieving cocksuckers. Plus I'm happy with my current bank.
This is all true.
MoMo: it's my roomie's showerhead. and yes, water pressure galore. i would like to think that i'm a really clean and hygenic person, but in reality, it's probably that i just like showers.
nick: it's a spelling error. something you are no doubt unfamiliar with.
neil: caveat emptor, i suppose. except that i didn't sell you anything. also, went to see lord of war the other day, and stayed through the credits to see sophia's name! i felt moderately famous myself. tell her thanks for that.
MP: i'm soon off to check to see who else has stumbled into my clever trap..
quill: no, it was a little early for screaming, but my blood pressure did drop the rest of the way to zero. therefore i died, just for a second.
and the non sequitur award of the day goes to nick. and his bank.
Hello Kitty!
weak.
i would have found a nice beach to shower at instead. uugghhhh *vomit*.
by the way, i think tank girl wants her boot back.
sincerely,
fellow curly haired freak
I would have set the bathrrom on fire afterwards to cleanse it.
Come on, woman! Just kill the damn spider. I enjoy killing them; unless they crunch. But even then it doesn't stop me from smashing and flushing merrily.
They are intruders who must be eliminated!
Oddly, Jerry Seinfeld cured me of my spider fear. He asked why women, who voluntarily put hot wax on themselves and pull their hair out by the roots, would be scared of a spider.
When put that way, I realized how big and brave and bold I really was.
the crunch is the worst.
I had a santuary once. Had a surgeon remove it, though. It kept getting in the way while I was over moisterizing myself.
he said, while making quote marks in the air with his fingers.
Where's AA?!
I do love the result of pissing off the psychotic cat. You were brave to do this for us, your loyal blogging audience. Hope your hand has healed.
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