who can't say it?
you've (some of you, that is) read my history and how i got here, so to speak. so what of it? i've already told you, and being public knowledge i have to follow through, that i'm going back to school this fall. *i used to be a very good student* what else needs working on? i have to take care of all the financial damage i did to myself in my mid-twenties, which is a daunting task unto itself and one that gives me stomach cramps just thinking about. *i used to be very good with money* i have to exercise what i know to be my not-inconsiderable amount of willpower to put myself back in the right headspace all the time. i still let slip sometimes and *i used to be so strong*..
eeeh. what happens when you lose everything? you start over again.
and get this: i've been given a second chance, in a grand way. i'm free and sane enough to make up my own mind about these things, and free to choose to follow through on those decisions or not. it's mine to "fix" or live or botch up.
now, if you all would just line up to kick me in the ass on a need-basis, i'd appreciate it.
new job goes well, future seems manageable and in fact, something to look forward to. school looms in the future, and potentially graduation? sigh. so much work still to do.
i'm a little overwhelmed a lot of the time, i think is the point of this post. there's no erase function, there's no tossing the batch and starting over. i have to work with what i've made for myself and the more i come back to earth and stay here (which has been about a year now, since the my last little "episode"), well, frankly i'm a little frightened.
i'll bend over for that ass-kicking now.
