half nekkid? fully clothed?

who cares?! it's thursday, and that means one more day of work (retail is karma payoff for hurting animals and children in a previous life, i'm convinced) until my fucking-a two day weekend.

here's my snazzy new pop art necklace. i intend to wear it out dancing tomorrow night.



i talked to the new boy again tonight. he's so very pretty, but pretty is passing. i wanted him to use a word like "proselytize" in a sentence. somehow, the gods knew, and he wants to know if i want to hear the first few lines of his thesis..(foreshadowing)

..which included the word "proselytize". i am rife with smit. rife, i tell you!

he needs a moniker. anyone?

so cold

can someone

teach me how to post an audio edit clip?

i thought you might all enjoy hearing my blood-curdling shrieks after having to listen to my customers playing with a talking puppet all day in seasonal..

oh my god.

i thought something so bad last week about the public at large that it sounded like something Todd VegASS would have let fly. i can't tell you specifically what it was, because i don't like to tempt the gods with another reason to toss lightning at me.

i'm going to watch Ghostbusters and pretend that there's a gallon of whiskey in my tummy (as opposed to the two horse-sized Depakote that are currently romping about down there)..

"that's a big twinkie.."

goddammit, i love brooke.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Ginny!

1. Early thermometers were filled with ginny instead of mercury.
2. Ginny can not regurgitate.
3. In the Spanish edition of Cluedo, ginny is the victim.
4. Oranges, lemons, watermelons, pineapples and ginny are all berries!
5. 68 percent of all UFO sightings are by ginny.
6. Ginny has only one weakness - the colour yellow.
7. It's bad luck to put ginny on a bed!
8. Ginny will always turn right when leaving a cave.
9. The opposite sides of ginny always add up to seven.
10. All swans in England belong to ginny!

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

i can't blog at work

which is not to say that there's a specific regulation or policy that prohibits it, but that our circa 1867 model IBM can't handle the intrawebs. it does, however, run the entire register-scanner system. i found this out by mistake the other day when i crashed it, and *immediately* got a call from the front of the store wanting to know what i'd done. eek.

anyway, point is, i wrote this post on my lunch break, longhand on legal paper. this may the very first post i've ever actually edited for content before posting. there have been several that i've posted, then yanked because i thought better of the content.

notes from my life:

i went on a date. a real, dinner-and-movie type of date. we went to see "good night and good luck" (which is phenomenal, by the way. if you haven't been, by all means, go)...went out for a drink, talked more than half the night..was great, and i haven't done it in a while.

a few posts ago, i was hemming and hawing about going back to school. i think i've decided, and i'll go. i counted the classes i have left, and thought about the money, the timeline, how to make it and make it make sense and i'm going to do it. therefore, go time for me is either june or august. and either way, i should be able to finish easily by spring of next year. and if all goes well, then i'll be a god-damned engineer. employable. competent. there is a lot more than a diploma riding on this, so if you've karma to spare, or good wishes, or can potentially help me with my statics or thermo homework, then by all means..

brooke..as i said, tap tap tap. my real new year's resolution was only one word: patience.

in order to perhaps best facilitate this thing, tho, i've made kind of a tough decision. i'm going to move back home while i'm in school. sometime this year, the entire clan Seaman will be reunited under one roof. if you see in the paper that a two-headed calf has been born, or there's a cowl of blood on the face of the moon, you know it's happened. i'm not crazy about it, but weigh this: i can live rent-free, and pay for my books and classes rather than my gas bill ($160 this month, and we have a fireplace which we use. also, it's been a very gentle winter for kansas...sweet mary)..so. plus, the added stress of living with Old Man Seaman will be perhaps the most powerful impetus to survive, succeed, and get the fuck out.

so bloggers, what say ye?

lunch is now over.

insomnia

i'm listening to the Hip and have a gray cat in my lap.

got a problem with it?

(...a total pro here. that's what i'm here for...)

something you may not know about me

i'm a math nerd. started school for math, and then swtiched to engineering so i could pick up a paycheck every now and then.

i burnt out, got sick, left school with one semester left to finish my electrical engineering degree. that was in 2000. i did some thinking, and if i go back, i can finish in one year, because i'd likely have to repeat my senior project. i doubt seriously if they'd let me just pick up where i left off six years ago, and moreover, i don't know that i still have all the notes (snicker).

so while i've enjoyed my time at UPS, and have the scars to prove it, i find i'm not really interested in doing retail management. so what to do? i'm going to interview for two jobs this week, one is managing a trucking depot here in town, and the other is (drum roll) head of shipping and recieving for a big company. whoopee. thank you, UPS, for teaching me all i need to know to be niche-employable for x dollars an hour.

and the other option? go back to school. sack up, and go back to school. it's not one of those delightful returning-adult things (go to school at night, weekends, etc) that i've been doing, but applying back at WSU for the more common hump-your-backpack-across-campus, cafeteria, clubs, flyers, wait-ten-for-the-assistant, fifteen-for-the-full-prof..and i get chills just thinking about it. i don't know if i can take it, but hell. it's one year. and what choice do i have?

so i talked with my folks, who live outside of town, and proposed my taking a part time job, something mindless that i can't get absorbed in, enough to pay for the insurance, whatever, and moving in with them for a year, and finishing. i could stay where i am, and live off loans, but i don't know that it would be enough pressure to sufficiently motivate me. i think if i went home, there would be this other stimulus (dad) driving me to succeed and for god's sake, finish my homework.

anyway, my clothes are all in the wash, and i'm blogging in bathrobe, and that's what i've been thinking about lately.

post new years resolutions

i will never ever drink that much again.

the promised renovations to the lodge are coming. i had talks with a writer this past weekend and he encouraged me to work on what i do, rather than churning things out because i feel better putting words on paper. i suddenly begin to see how writing could be considered a "job" (no offense, JJ, quill)..i like my stream of conciousness stuff, but i'm likely the only one who understands it. so we'll see.

i had a conversation with a boy this evening, which ended with me calling him 'babe', and him calling me 'honey'. and he's not my roommate. i'm going to try very hard to keep this under my control, rather than letting the past specter of M ruin it for me before it ever gets to start.

i will clean out the fridge.

the tree will come down before march.

i will write more letters.

i'll lose the other 30 pounds.

i'll seriously seriously think about considering quitting smoking.

and the difficult one, the real one, i will practice or whatever it is one must do to become patient. i will work on becoming on more patient person. i am uptight, i am tense, i am high-strung, and i do not want to die too terribly young. i get upset too quickly, and i let my emotions often take over. i have to apply this patience not only to every other intolerable motherfucker in the world, but to my own intolerable self.

change is seldom dramatic, when it's to be a lasting change. these things, perhaps i can make them happen, but it'll take time and determination and willpower: all things i posess but often lose sight of. i wish patience for myself, and hope not to be too hard on me when i can't pull it off. one day at a time, to one week at a time, to another year.

happy new one.