My boss loves my boyfriend..

There are at least six things wrong with the above statement. It's not that my boss is *in* love with my boyfriend, which is an awful word to have to use at my age. Allow me to elucidate:

1. I hate using the word "boyfriend" at the age of 31. I don't like to have anything in common with a 16-year-old. There's nothing wrong with being 16, except that I successfully passed through that time in my life with my teeth, my GPA and my virginity intact. Therefore I'm done with that time in my life. He is, I suppose, my Boyfriend, but I prefer to think of him as "Good Ol' Half-the-Rent"..

2. My boss doesn't love him, but he certainly likes Jobu better than he likes me.

lemma 2a. He doesn't have to pay for Jobu's insurance
lemma 2b. He doesn't have to pay for Jobu's mistakes

3. He has, potentially, more in common with J than I ever will, being a dyed-in-the wool Trekkie. My boss, R, went to the Consumer Electronics Show two weeks ago in Vegas (damn it!) and called me twice from the road at the Star Trek Experience to ask what souvenir Jobe would like. Then he went to MacWorld. Which has nothing to do with this post, but double-damn him.

4. They're both men, given all the machismo and you know, hard work and whatnot that goes into being men in a man's world, they'll always have "The Struggle" in common. Jobu is frankly openly offended by the new Domino's "You've got 30 Minutes" commercial (go to youTube and look it up yourself, you lazy bastard. I've made dinner and worked a whole day and done laundry. You can surf by yourself.) ..

So there's six things. Having things in common does not a love make, and yet, they do in fact have more in common than J and I ever will. Sigh..

***if you count the lemmas, I think we're up to six things wrong with the statement. I have been drinking, and I don't do it much anymore, so if someone more up on counting than myself can verify, I'll be in your debt.